Sweet Fanny Adams

 

Sweet Fanny Adams

 



A man of means was Frederick Baker

Worked in legal offices

Thought he could simply take her

An 8 year old child with her sisters

They felt it safer to stay together

However he insisted

He offered coins to Fanny first

Then tried to buy her siblings exit

Send them off to sate hunger and thirst

But then he simply legs it

But not without first grabbing the girl

While her sisters looked in disbelief

He ran into the hop fields and hid with her

His status empowering the child thief

Distraught were her family to lose sweet Fanny

Then came the news from a farmer:

A mutilated head was displayed on some stakes

No doubts on who had owned it

The police found blood on Baker’s clothes

He thought he could escape but he’d blown it

With parts of the girl slowly coming to light

He was tried for the gruesome atrocity

He was sentenced to hang before a Winchester

And duly executed with some due velocity

A tale of a upper class entitled bad’un

Who thought he could just dispose of

Sweet Fanny Adams

 

Joanne Oliver 2023

Bunny

I'm just a bunny

A bunny, say I 

I look so cute 

With just one eye

I wander through

A land so dry

I wonder why

I make you cry!

Your world has gone

You silly folk

Your leaders did that

When they "mis-spoke"

I have ten tickles

They're not to choke

If I wrap round you 

It's just a joke

Be glad I'm here

Bunny so sweet

Look at my little bunny feet! 

A taste of home 

The countryside

Where rabbits roam

And foxes hide. 

We'll be so happy

In this toasty world

Where dust is smoky

And green fumes swirl

So take my "hand"

My human friend

Be with your Bunny

Until the end.

Rise Up

Rise Up 

Working class Tories

You brought us to this

You soaked up their stories

As they took the piss 

"They're doing their best, man"

Their failures excused

No mistakes by these liars

We're all being used

They'll feel not a twinge

As thousands more die

We are just their livestock

They're bleeding us dry

When will we discover

The warriors within?

The need for some fairness

Must be under our skin

With food getting scarcer

And warmth a rare treat

We must reject that new normal

And rise to our feet!

Didn't Like To Say

The windows painted open by the council

They didn't like to say

No heating but a coal fire

They didn't like to say

Single glazing draughty frames

Old bathroom we'll fit our own shower

They didn't like to say

Pay the rent for 50 years

Fit a kitchen themselves

Someone else said the house is unfit

They didn't like a fuss

Finally windows and central heating in

He dies and leaves her alone

Dementia creeps in

No one likes to know

They didn't like to say

Don't face it say nothing 

She didn't like to say

Until she can't cook them 

A nice Sunday lunch

They didn't like to say.

J Oliver 2022 

Boronavirus

Boris boris where are you?

Boris oh Boris what should we do?

"Go out or don't, maybe wear masks, or leave them at home and wipe down your phone."

You gone red to green does this mean the virus has gone and been?

"Well no but let's open things up old bean!"

Boris please tell us, please tell us, do? How many shall die before this is through?"

"That's not my concern dear I work for the banks. For you and your family I give not two w**ks.  "

We're glad you have bred while we haven't got bread. But whilst we love babies....why must ours be dead? Why our mums,  siblings grandparents and dads? While you sit so safe in your no 10 pad?

"Well I'm the PM and my word is the law. So go fight the virus folks! That's what you're for!"

Water Workers

So many water workers

Keeping the water flowing

Whether in their homes or not

Keeping the country going

Fixing pipes, the leaks the floods

Putting their lives on the line

Though you can thank them

Dont get close!

Give them 2m all the time! 

There's folk in the labs

Keeping your water safe

Tasting and testing for us.

They can't stay at home

And still do their job

They have to be in work with no fuss.

There's people on phones

Juggling children, pets homes

Keeping your finances steady

They are there to help you

Wherever they are. The water folk always are ready. 

The ones working drains

They know who to blame

When the poo starts to back up the pipes

It's people who didn't quite get the message.

DONT FLUSH THEM . ..PLEASE WILL YOU BIN WIPES!

But they know you matter, and you play your part

In times when a virus is for us gunning.

So #stayathome now if you can and they will

do their best to #keepthewaterrunning 

Full English Brexit

Full English Brexit

I've tried to understand

I've tried to make some sense

of where we're going with this "plan"

I think until I'm tense

To see the other side

Is the way I've always thought

But no one tells me 

The good things this purports

Will we get more good jobs

Will food be cheaper still?

Will people stop attacking others

And get healthcare when they're ill? 

Where's the money gone?

And why does it always appear

When they need to pay for their cockups

So No Deal is not to be feared?

Yellowhammer was kept under wraps

By the interest-vested old chaps

And the truth has still failed to slay them

With an anagram that is Orwell Mayhem.

Countless millions wasted on greed

instead of attending to dire public need.

I'm ashamed of our country

It's lost its own way

I hope it never comes

Our No Deal Brexit Day